KEY POINTS
-Parenting is full of contradictory emotional experiences (e.g., wanting to be with and away from one’s kids).
-The principle of dialectics involves acknowledging that seemingly opposing forces or ideas can coexist.
-Acknowledging conflicting feelings is an integral part of regulating emotions.
Janet discusses the challenges and benefits of authenticity — how being real with our children helps us to achieve our goals as parents, strengthens our relationship, and even makes our lives easier. Janet says that it was Magda Gerber who…
Saying “be careful” all the time can confuse kids, instill fear, and lower their self-confidence. If you’ve ever watched your not-so-sure-footed kids ascend a tall—very tall—rope climbing structure at the playground, or hoist themselves atop a large, wobbly log in…
While on a business trip in Chicago last month, I accidentally slept for 12 hours. I fell asleep at 9:30 p.m. local time and didn’t set an alarm, because I figured there was no way I would sleep past 7:30…
Boredom teaches us that life isn’t a parade of amusements. More important, it spawns creativity and self-sufficiency. “I’m bored.” It’s a puny little phrase, yet it has the power to fill parents with a cascade of dread, annoyance and guilt. If…
When worrying gets in the way of a child’s functioning, parents need to get help rather than arranging the child’s life to avoid the occasions of anxiety.https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/01/well/family/how-to-help-a-child-with-an-anxiety-disorder.html
Rewards and punishments are conditional, but our love and positive regard for our kids should be unconditional. Here’s how to change the conversation and the behavior. “I feel a sense of dread as bedtime rolls around. Here we go again.”…
Why not let them walk to school alone? Parents and communities are figuring out ways to give their children more independence—and it just may help them to become less anxious, more self-reliant adults. https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-overprotected-american-child-1527865038 (Wall Street Journal subscription required)
As parents, we want our children to be emotionally resilient — able to handle life’s ups and downs. But parents’ ability to foster resilience in our children hinges a great deal on our own emotional resilience. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/28/well/family/to-raise-resilient-kids-be-a-resilient-parent.html?smid=pl-share
Pity the poor parent whose child is throwing a public tantrum. No, don’t come up with a list of excellent parenting strategies that you’re quite sure would have averted this unhappy scene. And don’t use it as an opportunity to…